How to deal with a break up

BY KAYLA MCQUILLAN

TOWER staff writer

 

     “I still want to be friends…” that is the last thing I ever wanted to hear after being in a serious relationship for almost two years. Your whole body goes numb and you’re too shocked and broken to even say a word so you just stand there in silence as you listen to your now ex boyfriend explain why he cannot be with you anymore. The pain I felt on that day was a pain I’ve never felt before. Almost two years of memories all hits you at once. It’s true you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.  As I entered Bethany College as a freshman I was shy, single and didn’t have a care in the world except for meeting new friends; that always was one of my biggest concerns. After going through my first couple months of class I started making new friends and was introduced to my ex. Although I thought he was the biggest heartthrob I never thought he would ever be such a big part of my life. As the months went on there was not one day where I didn’t see him. Soon he became one of my only friends, I never felt so alone as I did when I came back to Bethany from summer break and realized I had to start my life all over again.  I know that moving on is one of the hardest things to do and I also knew I wasn’t ready to do it but I took a deep breath the first day of school and gave myself a pep talk that I will never forget. The pep talk went something like “ It’s time to focus on yourself and the reason you attend Bethany College, for a good education.”

       Everyone has their own way of dealing with a break up according to www.wikihow.com They give tips such as writing a letter to your ex but never sending it to them or to write a story about your relationship. Another tip the website suggests, is having a ceremony much like a eulogy to finally get that closure that we all so desperately need. My daily routine is to wake up and turn on a happy song to get my day started so I automatically will be put into a good mood. After that I get ready and attend class. I joined a gym class that helps me improve my self-confidence, and it is a proven fact that staying active can improve your mood and help you release your anger and sadness. Later in the night I usually hang out with a big group of friends and either play truth or dare, watch movies, or just simply sit around and talk about everything that went on throughout the day. I try not to go back to my room until bedtime because at night is when the realization sets in. Watching a funny show before going to sleep helps put me in a better mood.

      One of my biggest tips is sitting down with you ex and talking to them about the situation that is going on. Let everything off your chest and be sure not to speak out of anger, you don’t want to say something to your ex that you might regret later. Rumors will spread about the break up, that’s inevitable but if you hear rumors about your ex your best bet is not to get upset right away and jump to conclusion but to sit down in person and talk with your ex about the rumors that are being spread.  What happens most with ex’s is that false rumors get spread and someone jumps to conclusions and completely shuts their ex out of their lives completely. This is the worst thing that could happen. If you truly care about your ex you will try to still keep things on good terms no matter what. You never know what the future may hold you may end up being iconic business partners or you may realize that even though the relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean you guys won’t be best friends in the future. You have to realize that some people just aren’t meant to be together. The biggest advice I can give someone going through a break up is to keep your head up and make sure you are happy with yourself and the decisions you are making. You have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. Take a step back and really evaluate your life. Are you truly happy? If the answer is no take the time out to change the way you’re living. I’ve learned through this whole process that everything happens for a reason. There are plenty of days that I just want to break down and cry or stay in my room and think about what could have been but I don’t. I continue to move forward and remember that I will get through this and that there are brighter days ahead.

      You should never feel alone during a break up it’s a part of life that everyone goes through at least once or twice in a lifetime. Surround yourself with loved ones who will lift your spirits when you are feeling down. Watch some of your favorite movies and listen to happy music. Don’t be ashamed to cry, sometimes tears symbolize the feelings you cannot put into words. Always keep a smile on your face and don’t regret any relationship. If anything the past relationship may be an example of what you don’t want in the future. If you’re looking for a way to express your emotions try journaling or singing, Join a club that will give you a sense of self worth and something you will be proud to say you were a part of. Focus on your schoolwork because that’s why you are here in the first place right? To get an amazing education that will lead you into an amazing life. Think of the break up as a stepping-stone on this journey called life. This break up will make you stronger than you ever thought you could be. In conclusion I will leave you with a quote that I found on tumbler that really helped me get through some of my toughest days. “My ex? We’re not friends we’re not enemies we’re just strangers with some memories.”

 

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